Monday, April 27, 2009

Emerge My Little Babies

I've been gettin' pretty lathered up lately about garden stuff, and I just can't hold it in anymore. I realize that not many of my friends or work colleagues are as jazzed about flora and fauna as I am, and it is evident in the yawns that immediately follow my words. What then makes you, a dedicated Lair reader any different? You are no different. You've probably already jumped over to Hulu after two sentences of this steaming pile. So what I'm essentially doing here is curling up with my diary...the behavior of a twelve year old girl. Let's have a quick summary.

Gardening = Geriatric

Diaries = Pre-pubescents

Me = Identity crisis

It's actually fine. I like it, the garden likes it, it keeps me off tha streets...we all win, and this year I'm hoping to win big. What I'm finding is that it all boils down to soil preparation. Last year the priority was just to get the thing together with little regard for the soil composition. As it turned out, Kit Kats and diapers don't need that much nourishment so it all worked out. This year though, I will be upping the ante with sweet ingredients like lime, manure, shredded decomposing leaves, dead squirrels, and possibly a little sphagnum moss. Any good gardener will tell you that organic material is crucial to the prosperity of your little ecosystem, and that it can hardly be overdone. That is why I am especially committed to brewing an especially tangy batch of nitrogen-rich crud for all of my little babies to soak up.

Another horticultural aspiration I had for this year was to extend the growing season. The two ways I plan on doing this are by way of sowing seeds indoors and relay planting. The indoor seedlings are really just kind of a way to get more satisfaction out of it all by witnessing and facilitating the entire process. I don't expect to save any money, but it has provided me with enough knowledge to start up a killer conversation over canasta at the rest home.

Take a look

The dudes in front are like, "Feed meh Seymore!"

Also, I went out tonight to see if anything was happening on the hops front, and would you believe the little turds are about six inches tall already? They're lookin' mighty too. Thick n' meaty, ready to stink up the joint. With any luck we'll have this going on soon.

3 comments:

Travis said...

I highly enjoyed your post. Your witty banter had me at "Emerge My Little Babies"

Those dudes are indeed looking mighty fine. I will be skipping the garden this year, as we are in transit, and so will be living vicariously through your horticultural endeavors. Hope all is well in Wisconsin.

jiveturkey9000 said...

Thanks Travis. It's good to see that someone out there appreciates soil analysis and most of all, the miracle of life. I'll be chronic-(what!?)-ling the progress so that you can tune in every once in a while to a post that's pretty much like watered-down public television.

Leviathan said...

It's funny, I just got back from planting our 8X10 'weekend warrior' type garden to find your serious horticultural skills on display.

As far as soil preparation goes, We did have a neighbor till it this year, and I hope that being in Iowa we should naturally have the sandy loam type soil.

I'm excited to see how this year turns out for you! Soon you'll be reserving a spot at your local farmer's market for "Bright's Beets and Hops".