Sunday, October 19, 2008

Smurf Alert!

It's been awhile since I've given the people a look at the baby, so allow me to drop the latest video featuring the one and only Chubbz Thunder. In this episode, she's channeling her inner jive turkey, just a twitchin' and a floppin'. Work it out, Maura.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Feral Amish Kids Bent on Mayhem

Imagine yourself traveling through the midwest, run down buildings and rusty farm equipment occasionally breaking up the monotony of mile after mile of corn lining the highway. Not so much creepy as it is depressing...until you add Amish kids.


Sounds like a great recipe for a short story. Someone should write that. Then someone should make a movie based on it. Then someone should make about five sequels. Then someone should do a remake based on the original short my home town.

Wait a minute, I've just been told that all of my aforementioned suggestions are too late.

That's right, my home town of Lost Nation, Iowa was selected as a filming location for the upcoming Sci-Fi Channel exclusive "Children of the Corn". I don't think any of the town's 500 residents would have ever imagined that their downtown would one day be transformed into a desolate backdrop of ruin for an army of bloodthirsty, self-created orphans. In any event, I'm sure they didn't think it would happen so suddenly.

When Jodi and I rolled into town, what we saw couldn't have been too unlike what the main characters Burt and Vicki saw when they first arrived...a town that had fallen to neglect. As it turns out, grubby little maniac children aren't the best housekeepers. In fact, they pretty much get an F- for effort. It's not for lack of numbers though, as you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting one. Someone just needs to give them the many hands lighten the load rundown.

So anyway, you get the idea. Old familiar things from my childhood (family grocery store, cyberninja's house) were transformed into horror movie sets much to the chagrin/amusement of the townspeople. Have a look for yourself as I present to you my first feature-length documentary that covers some of the high points of the filming.

Monday, October 6, 2008


I know you could easily just go to youtube or hulu yourself, but I'll just save you a step and put all the videos you'll ever need to watch right here on the Lair. I know it's weak, but everyone reads the Cliff Notes at some time or another. I'm sort of gearing up for the next post, so in the meantime, learn a little something about the young Chuck Norris. It's very informative, and you might even find a little humor in it.